half way...

we are slowly making it! We are almost half way done with Luke's deployment, and I thought it would get easier as the time went on, but its not! I still cry way more than I probly should let Britlyn see, and lately that's been alot, my heart still aches for him to walk through the door and hug me, I still hate staying up as late as I possibly can so that i won't lay in bed and think about what is really happening, and I still hate to crawl into that lonely bed each night! I still have a hard time being around other happy couples and then coming home to a lonely empty house! How am I going to make it 4 more months without him! How does one look into the eyes of a 2yr old and not just burst out in tears when you think about all the things that are really going on in her innocent life that she has no idea about! Im thankful she doesn't quite comprehend that her dad is gone for as long as he is, but i know that her heart aches for him and that she does miss him alot! How can I just sit there and watch my little girl hold a laptop on her lap for a half hr cuz her daddy's picture is on it, all she wanted was for her daddy to watch her movie with her! How do you not let your heart just crumble to the ground! What do you say to a 2 yr old when she asks you if daddy can come home and play now? and when you tell her he can come home in a little bit longer, and she says, ok, i'll go to his house then. what do you say? Days like these, i wonder how in the world we're ever going to make it! I can't even tell you how much i long for the day that i will get to see him walk down that airport terminal, and let britlyn run up and give her daddy a hug, and to let him meet his son for the first time! I cant even comprehend how good of a day that will be, and I often think if that's how it will be when we meet the savior! How much he will have missed us, and how much he can't wait to see us and give us a hug again! That, is how we make it! We don't try to do it alone...There are times like the ones i mentioned, that I would have absolutely died from the aches i felt, but i know there is no doubt that I am not doing this alone! There is no way in the world that I could make it without help from the savior! People can think and say whatever they want about the things I am doing and the way I am doing them while he is away, but i know and he knows that we are doing our best being apart! I am trying to cope with the things that are coming and having to go through them alone is not easy! People ask all the time how we are doing and if we are ok! Well to be quite honest, we say we're doing good, sure, but you wouldn't understand if I told you we werent. there isnt anything anyone can do to change it, (Except for the inconsiderate military) but I hope that whatever I am supposed to learn from this, I can. If you are reading this, please don't take your husband for granted! There are so many things we wish we could have once they are gone! Do me a favor and hug and kiss them as much as you can, one day they could be gone! Whether its for a short time like this, or a long time! It has truly taught me what is important in my life and the things that I should be greatful for that maybe I didn't realize before! Anyway, like I said we are almost half way done, and the 1st half went super fast, but we were with family, so im hoping this second half will go just as fast! It will be a more bitter sweet time but I pray that we will have the strength to make it through, and i pray that I NEVER have to do something like this again!